The March Of The CEOs

Note: This is the third instalment in my “Abe vs. The Snow” trilogy. Which is a trilogy involving me noticing things that are wrong around me and giving them names and articulating how annoying they are.

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First came the zombies, then came the bearded blokes, and now it’s time for the March of the CEOs. Let’s begin..

The CEO Syndrome

Motivated by a lifestyle that does not require having to wake up early in the morning day after day, or work more than 4 hours per week, and a world spitting out a new web based production tool each day.

We notice the CEO sitting in a cafe or sometimes on the beach, behind their Macbook (yes, it has to be a Macbook otherwise the entire theory falls apart).

The CEO can be found with business card in-hand (and sometimes a real logo on top of the business card), perpetually excited about new opportunities in a particular field that is being talked about a lot in the news.

This city is home to a seemingly unlimited number of these types, who are always cornering you in bars/subway stations/late-night street food stands to pitch their latest “disruptive” idea to you, or even better, just blurting out that they have an idea that’s going to change the world but they can’t tell you what it is for obvious reasons.

I will admit that it is great to have that sort of entrepreneurial energy running through a country, but it can get annoying at times. Here’s why..

The CEO tends to have poor business skills, and worse, not much work experience in anything.

CEO entrepreneurs range from the impressively magnanimous to unspeakable levels of doucheness, but one thing’s for sure: they’re here to stay as long as there are more graduates than jobs year after year.

Habitat: Sleeping secretly in shared office space with roomies because rent is just too damn high.

Camouflage: Various iterations of business casual wear and anything that holds a Macbook pro.

Watering Holes: Cafes and every conceivable happy hour.

Counter Measures: If ever confronted by any CEO type asking you to invest time or energy in their next big thing, silently, take out a piece of paper and draw 3 boxes. A box to represent your bank account on one end. Another box to represent their idea. A and a rectangle to represent a $1 bill. Then ask them to draw you a line that represents the path that the 1$ bill will take from their idea into your bank account. I guarantee you that the results of this test will be nothing short of spectacular.

The snow has ended. And so has this trilogy. But if it snows again next week I will find something else to rant about.

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Meet The Author

I’m an entrepreneur and explorer. I write about things that inspire me, things that annoy me and things that I'm working on. I love journals, and think that any self respecting explorer should have one. click here for more.

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